(two peaceful asian women walk gracefully through the wet streets of Foxcroft and Canterbury with bright yet feminine umbrellas. picture taken by: christina martinez) 90% rain is the daily forecast from now on it seems but who knows these days weathermen can never be trusted right?  so i have come to realize that i am completely and absolutely unhealty
figures. im loosing my hair.....im breaking out.....im loosing sight.....im nearly deaf in one ear (not quite sure which one yet-- im almost convinced that both ears are equally rusty) heh...i never thought i would see the day when a girl of a mere age of 16 has the symptoms of an elderly woman of 80 what has this world come to? what have i come to? it seems like i have automatically handed myself the torch of judgement lately as if i were the ultimate being who has every right to look down at people who have a twisted idea of how an ideal life is supposed to be played out. gahh...i desperately need a reality check. i really have to dust off this prima-dona act i have nailed down. from day to day i lend an ear on current gossip and instantly shun away the daring individual who does unmoral things just because i so call "believe" that those kind of people are not worth my time. really...thats BULL. i have no right to do that. why do i program my mind to believe that striving perfection is the meaning of life. i hate to admit it...but im one of those lost people who trusts their wisdom and goes on living life thinking that THEIR way is the RIGHT way. i want to STOP. who do i think i am? music has really helped me out in this whole revelation phase.  i hear the cries of other people around the world who inject their experiences, hurts, lessons, teachings, stories, and feelings into musical notes and lyrics and i suddenly become inspired to smile often. to shrugg off critism. and most of all, keep the past unforgotten. i have spent countless minutes wishing to forget the past and i have finally concluded that thats stupid. educators obviously belive that the past is important. and if you want to drift off to religion...just check out the bible. Most of the Old Testament is records of how life was played out by impactful individuals that had intensely ruff patches. Letting my past govern my future is definately not the direction i want to take. (been there; done that.) but i dont want to loose sight of what i gained from it. things happen for a reason right. i learned from my mistakes. i lived and i learned.
Although my critical observations have usually leaned towards the negative....there is one that has actually turned everything around. See...theres these two asian ladies who are never without each other. i have no idea if they are sisters or close friends. They live a couple of houses down or perhaps a block away. I truly never decided to live in the moment and have the neighborly curtesy to ask them where they're from, or heck...what they're names are. all i do know, is that they are living examples of how determination and love for something has its advantages. Every morning on my way to SAT prep and even every morning when i headed off to school 5 minutes before the final bell rang, i would spot them walking together, chatting away, and always looking optimistically forward. no worries. no complaints. just persistance. its amazing. i have never seen them absent. always punctual. they're one of those neighbors that could easily help you keeep track of time. even when it rains, they would walk. nothing can stop that almighty duo. they're my inspiration. simple as that. 
this glowing, witty, and unique woman has also just resently become my idol. her songs are simply exquisite. her voice oozes musical notes that enrich the soul. im sure she has heard millions of praises. i mean i can name 7 different magazines out of the top of my head that credit her as 'a woman of genius'. she has a watchful eye on details. one attribute that most sell-out musicans dismiss. its a talent that many unfortunately dont pocess. she is a well known prodigy that has easily reformed the lives of many---including mine. However, her sexual and drinking life led me to become completely skeptical. As i have habitually done...i would instantly shut anyone off who i believed lived a life unpurely. but after watching her interviews and listening to more of her songs...rather than the three singles ive only had the desire to listen to...i began to take a note at how increadibly sweet she is. all my previous acusations i have made about her became absolete. i began to question my own morals. my own life. im not any better than she is. or than anyone else in that matter. so its about time for me to stop thinking i am. i think thats the best anyone can do at this moment. dismiss the imperfections the world carries and begin to love. | 
